for just_fck_me: voyuerism

There were plenty of things Sylar could say had happened in his life that just weren't fair. Chandra and Elle molding the innocent watchmaker into a super-powered psychopath, for one -- he'd never wanted that life, he'd just wanted to be someone special. The Shanti Virus, or the stabbing that had preceded it also ranked high on the list. Having to sleep with Maya, so she wouldn't find her brother's body. The Petrelli mindscrew and Mohinder beating his head in at Pinehearst. The list went on and on, really.

He thought he'd found the one thing that had taken the cake, ranked at the top of the list, in being forced to wear Nathan Petrelli's skin, however. In spite of all of his crimes and his own need for an eye for an eye, that was cruel and unusual punishment. He would have chosen dying -- really dying -- over being a prisoner to someone else's thoughts, but here he was. Trapped. Unable to even rely on himself, on the one person who had never left or betrayed him, and all because he wasn't around half the time, thanks to Ma Petrelli.

He thought that had been the worst possible injustice he would ever know, but he had been wrong. So wrong. And all because despite Mohinder's ultimate rejection of him in favor of the stranger in his head, despite telling Mohinder he quit -- that Nathan won, and he'd lock himself away forever, as had been the idea -- he was still aware. He couldn't hide in the senator's shadow or slip away to nothingness as he had hoped, letting Nathan become far more than just the dominant personality. He got to watch every waking moment, and with his latest decision to give in, it was more torture now than it had ever been.

( If he could have sighed, he would have, but instead he was stuck with what seemed to him to be a porn gone wrong. )

Muse: Gabriel Gray (Sylar)
Fandom: Heroes
Word Count: 862
Note: Mohinder is witnessof_fate and is used with permission. Nathan is, um, mine I guess, since he's a figment of Sylar's imagination?