for philosophy_20: both sides
Aug. 13th, 2008 04:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
heroslayerYou don't know how they do it, but they always seem to know when you and Suresh have been fighting. It doesn't make sense, you think, because you didn't leave a mark on him (not this time), but they know. They know and they all edge away, moving to further corners of the loft or shifting in their seats uncomfortably, like they can see the killer in you, just below the surface. And while normally, you can deal with it because this is who you are and you still don't like them much, you can't today.
Instead, you just plow down the aisle they've created with their bodies as if they were making modern art, heading for the balcony. Ted tries to stop you. He's the only one who understands what you are and doesn't care (your only friend), and usually it's a good thing, but not today. Today, you just swat his hand away, viciously, when he tries to put it on your shoulder to stop you. He huffs at you, mumbles something under his breath that you can hear but not make out for the grumble in it, and stalks away to make angry faces at Parkman.
Guilt races through you, its icy fingers on your spine and hot breath on your face, but you ignore it. You're tired of trying to please people. You just want to let the rage flow, for once. Strong and warm and perfect, like it used to be. Like you used to be, before Suresh. And so you don't even bother with an apologetic look as you storm out to the roof, and no one tries to stop you again.
It feels good, you think. You've missed being able to drive that wedge of fear into people and shatter all their pathetic niceties. It makes you feel big (important) when all they've done is cut you down, and you're just starting to enjoy it when you hear footsteps behind you.
You wheel on your heels, wanting to know who has the gall to bother you when you're like this. You're expecting Ted again or Suresh, but it's neither. It's that fucking Japanese kid, and you can't keep the sneer from clawing its way onto your face like some kind of rabid animal. You entertain notions of killing him, as you just want to be alone, but you think better of it. The Team is assembled in the other room, and you're furious not stupid.
"What do you want?" you snarl at him, instead.
He doesn't answer right away, and your fingers twitch. You don't like to be left wanting, when you get like this, and the way he's looking at you like you're some kind of science experiment sets your blood burning. He gives you what you want (an answer), though it's in Japanese, and you can't help but wonder if he's mocking you. He knows you've been learning so you can listen in on the conversations he and his sidekick and Bennet and Claude have, after all.
"You are angry with Doctor Suresh?"
You bite your tongue, so you don't spit out what you're thinking, and instead demand, "What do you care?"
He's silent again, and something in your head screams at you to kill him. You're pretty sure that whatever it is doing the shouting has got its fingers knotted in your hair and is trying to pull it out of your scalp, though, so you hesitate. And Nakamura gives his answer before the red behind your eyes fades enough that you can see clearly again.
"Mister Isaac Mendez says that the future is not stable. Things are changing. We are changing things. It is why I have seen two different versions of it and why I was able to save Charlie in the end." You don't know where he's going with this, but you've got to admit you're vaguely curious, so you let him keep going. After another one of those lengthy pauses, in which he moves to the edge of the balcony to look down over the city, anyway.
"In one future, you have much more power," he explains, and you like the way this sounds already. "You have stolen great many things from nice people. You are leader of America. You keep people strong, after the explosion. And maybe you have even killed Peter Petrelli - I do not know. I did not stay for the end of the battle."
He shrugs, and casts a glance over his shoulder so he can pout at you. You can imagine that look has some kind of amazing effect on most people, but then again, you've never been most people, so you just stare at him, blankly. He turns back to the winking lights of New York.
"In the other future, you are with us. You have not hurt anyone in five years. It was you who stopped Peter Petrelli from destroying New York. We are your friends. And we call you by your real name, not the one you have picked for yourself." This future, you decide, you don't like much. It sounds too much like you've lost your way. Your mission. Your goal. Nakamura doesn't let you think about it, though, because he turns to face you fully before questioning you.
"Which future would you pick?"
It's an easy choice for you. "The one where I'm in control. Where Petrelli is dead."
Nakamura shakes his head. "You picked wrong."
"Why?" Not that you particularly care what he thinks, but your curoisity has gotten the better of you. It always does.
"In that future, you hide behind someone else's face, and no one knows what strength you have, even without your power. In that future, you are alone." He looks at you with that kicked puppy face again, and this time it gets to you. You stare at him, wide-eyed and wounded, and he continues with the hard truth. "In my future, you are great hero and everyone knows. You have Doctor Suresh. You have saved future-me and Ando and -- "
He rattles off the list of everyone in the other room, but you barely hear him. The last thing he says, though? That sticks out. "You are appreciated."
Your voice catches in your throat, your jaw working to produce sounds but nothing comes out. You suppose, idly, that you must look a bit like a fish, drowning in the air, and really? That's how you feel. Nakamura, the bastard, jumps on it. "Do you still wish for the scary future, Gabriel?"
Then, just like that, he's heading back inside. You wanted to be alone and now you've got it. You always get what you want.
Muse: Gabriel Gray (Sylar)
Fandom: Heroes
Verse: Second Chance
Word Count: 1118
Instead, you just plow down the aisle they've created with their bodies as if they were making modern art, heading for the balcony. Ted tries to stop you. He's the only one who understands what you are and doesn't care (your only friend), and usually it's a good thing, but not today. Today, you just swat his hand away, viciously, when he tries to put it on your shoulder to stop you. He huffs at you, mumbles something under his breath that you can hear but not make out for the grumble in it, and stalks away to make angry faces at Parkman.
Guilt races through you, its icy fingers on your spine and hot breath on your face, but you ignore it. You're tired of trying to please people. You just want to let the rage flow, for once. Strong and warm and perfect, like it used to be. Like you used to be, before Suresh. And so you don't even bother with an apologetic look as you storm out to the roof, and no one tries to stop you again.
It feels good, you think. You've missed being able to drive that wedge of fear into people and shatter all their pathetic niceties. It makes you feel big (important) when all they've done is cut you down, and you're just starting to enjoy it when you hear footsteps behind you.
You wheel on your heels, wanting to know who has the gall to bother you when you're like this. You're expecting Ted again or Suresh, but it's neither. It's that fucking Japanese kid, and you can't keep the sneer from clawing its way onto your face like some kind of rabid animal. You entertain notions of killing him, as you just want to be alone, but you think better of it. The Team is assembled in the other room, and you're furious not stupid.
"What do you want?" you snarl at him, instead.
He doesn't answer right away, and your fingers twitch. You don't like to be left wanting, when you get like this, and the way he's looking at you like you're some kind of science experiment sets your blood burning. He gives you what you want (an answer), though it's in Japanese, and you can't help but wonder if he's mocking you. He knows you've been learning so you can listen in on the conversations he and his sidekick and Bennet and Claude have, after all.
"You are angry with Doctor Suresh?"
You bite your tongue, so you don't spit out what you're thinking, and instead demand, "What do you care?"
He's silent again, and something in your head screams at you to kill him. You're pretty sure that whatever it is doing the shouting has got its fingers knotted in your hair and is trying to pull it out of your scalp, though, so you hesitate. And Nakamura gives his answer before the red behind your eyes fades enough that you can see clearly again.
"Mister Isaac Mendez says that the future is not stable. Things are changing. We are changing things. It is why I have seen two different versions of it and why I was able to save Charlie in the end." You don't know where he's going with this, but you've got to admit you're vaguely curious, so you let him keep going. After another one of those lengthy pauses, in which he moves to the edge of the balcony to look down over the city, anyway.
"In one future, you have much more power," he explains, and you like the way this sounds already. "You have stolen great many things from nice people. You are leader of America. You keep people strong, after the explosion. And maybe you have even killed Peter Petrelli - I do not know. I did not stay for the end of the battle."
He shrugs, and casts a glance over his shoulder so he can pout at you. You can imagine that look has some kind of amazing effect on most people, but then again, you've never been most people, so you just stare at him, blankly. He turns back to the winking lights of New York.
"In the other future, you are with us. You have not hurt anyone in five years. It was you who stopped Peter Petrelli from destroying New York. We are your friends. And we call you by your real name, not the one you have picked for yourself." This future, you decide, you don't like much. It sounds too much like you've lost your way. Your mission. Your goal. Nakamura doesn't let you think about it, though, because he turns to face you fully before questioning you.
"Which future would you pick?"
It's an easy choice for you. "The one where I'm in control. Where Petrelli is dead."
Nakamura shakes his head. "You picked wrong."
"Why?" Not that you particularly care what he thinks, but your curoisity has gotten the better of you. It always does.
"In that future, you hide behind someone else's face, and no one knows what strength you have, even without your power. In that future, you are alone." He looks at you with that kicked puppy face again, and this time it gets to you. You stare at him, wide-eyed and wounded, and he continues with the hard truth. "In my future, you are great hero and everyone knows. You have Doctor Suresh. You have saved future-me and Ando and -- "
He rattles off the list of everyone in the other room, but you barely hear him. The last thing he says, though? That sticks out. "You are appreciated."
Your voice catches in your throat, your jaw working to produce sounds but nothing comes out. You suppose, idly, that you must look a bit like a fish, drowning in the air, and really? That's how you feel. Nakamura, the bastard, jumps on it. "Do you still wish for the scary future, Gabriel?"
Then, just like that, he's heading back inside. You wanted to be alone and now you've got it. You always get what you want.
Muse: Gabriel Gray (Sylar)
Fandom: Heroes
Verse: Second Chance
Word Count: 1118
